Scars
by Ran Nuankai
Summary: Make sure your tape recorder is on, doc. Don't wanna miss anything...A lot of people don't like me. I don't really give a dam... My name is Christie Monteiro. Christie X Hwoarang
1. Christie in Therapy

_A/N 1- I own this story, and future characters (not associated with Namco) in upcoming chapters. _

_A/N 2- This story contains some humor. You know, to lighten the mood. _

_**Scars**_

**Ch. 1- Christie in Therapy**

I walk in the office of earth-tones and yellows. "Good morning." The doc says all cheerful and smiling. What the hell is she happy about?

"Have a seat, and we'll get started." She uses her right hand, gesturing to a chocolate brown couch-like thing, half a foot to the right of her. I turn from it to look at her.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to sit in a chair. I prefer to not have my back turned to you." She shakes her head okay and walks across the room to a closet. She pulls out a tan wooden chair with a brown seat pillow, the same as her desk and chair.

"Here you are." She places the chair down across from her desk and chair. Walking back to sit at her desk, I wait until she's seated before I sit.

I notice that there's a silver tape recorder on her desk. She's flipping through a medium sized note pad with yellow red-lined paper.

"Make sure your tape recorder is on, doc. Don't wanna miss anything… My name is Christie Monteiro. Ohh, you already know my name? Well, woopdee do… You know, a lot of people don't like me. They didn't like me then and they sure as hell don't like me now. It's okay, because personally I don't give a damn. They say I'm mean; not fun. How would they feel if they had a messed up life? They wouldn't all be like me, that's for sure. Some would commit suicide, others would kill the ones who fucked up their lives, or abuse their children/or spouses in different ways. Some would withdraw from the people who've come to love them. Withdrawing from anyone who gets too close, or find themselves in an abusive relationship…

You want me to get right to the point? You want to know why I'm the way that I am? Okay doc. I'll tell you…"

"Please, call me Julia, Christie."

"I'll call you 'doc' instead of your name, because that's too personal. I just met you today." She looks at me and shakes her head in understanding.

"It was a nice spring morning. Much like today, actually…Don't interrupt me doc. You're the one that wanted to hear this. I don't like to just hear myself talk…Now, if you'd just shut your mouth…What? I didn't come hear because I wanted to talk to you. Don't tell me to lower my voice! Stop provoking me, and I won't get loud. Why am I here? I'm here because some cough, asses, cough I work with filed complaints about me to the bosses. The little bitches couldn't even handle altercations by themselves."

"Do you know who the altercations were with?" The doc asks, looking down at a white piece of type paper.

"Of course I do." I lean forward, straining to see what's on the paper. She makes sure I don't. I sit back down.

"Anyway, I need to stop getting snippy with fellow employees, the bosses said. Then they took me to court. The judge said that this 'therapy', would make me a better person, compared to regular old community service. How about that, huh?"

"Sounds like these people knew you're a good person deep down inside, Christie. They want to help bring that person out. You talking to someone will do just that. It brings issues to light, so that you'll be able to get past them." I stare at her. What the hell was that?

"Don't talk to me doc. That's bullshit, and you know it. The judge, Michelle something or other, assigned me to therapy because she knew damn well that if I was put with others for community service, I'd have a complaint brought against me everyday. As you know, I don't work with others well."

"It seems that you don't get along with others, at all."

"Yeah, that maybe the case, but I really don't care. Okay?" I lean forward in my chair. "Can I continue with 'bring to light' my issues, doc?"

"Yes, Christie, you may." She's been writing with her green pin since she first sat down.

"What're you writing?"

"Some important notes." She finishes, and looks up at me.

"Some important notes, as in 'comments' for the judge."

"No. Some important notes, as in 'comments' for my mother." I'm completely shocked.

"How dare you tell your mother about me. That's doctor/patient confidentiality!"

"Are you done?" The doc looks at me. "Judge Michelle something or other is Michelle Chang. My name is Julia Chang." There's a pause. I feel kinda stupid.

"You may continue, when you're ready, Christie." She's back to writing on her yellow red-lined paper note pad.

"It was a nice spring morning. Much like today actually. The date was April 14, 1997. I was 11 years old. A day I'd never forget…"

**A/N 3- I hope you liked. **

**A/N 4- In Ch.2 you meet Christie's **_mom and dad,__brother, and two police.__One male and one female.__Her mom, dad and brother's names are already chosen. The police 1st names aren't._** If you could help me by choosing a male and female name. That would be very nice. _Female_ _names to choose from:_ French Margo (Pearl)_or_ Latin Amaryllis –**Am'eh'ril'les-** (Country Sweetheart). _Male names to choose from: French _Julien (Youthful) _or _Latin Victor (Conqueror). Last names are Berry and Urban. From 2 of my favorite actors. **

**Note: **_Avenger For Children_** and **_Wouldn't You__Know_** aren't going on hold. None of my fics will be neglected. I Love them like children…Well, I did give them Life. LOL **

_**nichole hahn**_


	2. Tragedy

_A/N 1- I own this story, and future characters (not associated with Namco) in upcoming chapters. _

_A/N 2- This story contains some humor. You know, to lighten the mood. _

**Special Thanks to_Gothic and Soul!_** This chapter's for you.

**_Scars _**

_**By Nichole**_

**_Ch. 2- Tragedy_**

**I heard this buzzing sound. I thought it was a fly, so I ignored it. It buzzed again, so I hit around my face blindly so it wouldn't land on me. When it got closer to me and wouldn't stop, I thought 'MF my gosh, it could be a bee! I'm allergic to bees!' I jumped up in my bed, slapping myself with both hands. I heard a laugh and looked around me. I saw it was my brother. **

"**Chris!" I yelled and he just rolled over on my bed laughing. "I know your face has got to hurt with you slapping it like, he proceeded to demonstrate. **

"**Get out of my room, you fool!" I roll him off my bed, and I hear him hit the floor. He never stopped laughing. He's laughing as he gets up off the floor. He backs his way toward my door. "Buzz, buzz, buzz." I throw a pillow and it misses. "Missed me!" I throw another at him and he steps out the door, just in time. **

**At that moment, I realize that he was still in his shorts and t-shirt from sleeping. I jump out of bed, and run down the hall yelling. "Chris, get out the bathroom! You were awake before me. You shoulda went then!" I beat on the door. The door opens, and Chris comes out. "I was just messing with you." He walks past me and down the hall to his room. Once the door is shut, I turn to the mirror. 'Man I need to brush my hair.' **

**I hear a sound that sounds like a laugh, but I'm not sure. I proceed to wash my face and I hear it again, but I know for sure this time it's a laugh. For I look out the tiny window in the bathroom, and see that it's still black outside. Something's not right. I look at my watch and it reads '6:13'. Chris laughs louder on the other side of the bathroom door. I open the door and he runs down the hall to his room. 'Ha, he got me this time. But his is coming.' I walk back to my room. By the time I'm in my bed, its 6:19. Well, I get to sleep till 7:20. **

"**Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!" I roll over and fall out of bed. Cutting the alarm off, I walk past my mirror. 'My hair is a mess.' I touch my hair. 'I knew I shoulda put rubber bands at the end.' I shake my head, heading to the bathroom the second time this morning. **

**After the morning bathroom rituals, I feel so much better. Even though, I feel as if I didn't get any sleep last night. Back in my room, I put my hair in a low ponytail a green holder. I grab my green t-shirt that says 'Hello?' in white letters. My mom bought it for me last year, and it's so comfortable. Next I put my gray draw string shorts on and green socks with my white sneakers. Putting my green glasses on and grabbing my black backpack, I head down stairs; to the kitchen. Where else? I'm hungry. **

**I walk in the kitchen and put my backpack down against the wall. I see my mom and dad talking between the sink and fridge. Heading to the table on the right, I see Chris sitting and eating apple jam and toast with bacon. He looks up at me and makes a face at what I'm wearing. I know why. I don't even have to ask. We're dressed the same. Even down to the green glasses and low ponytail. Except his green t-shirt has 'What?' in white letters. **

"**Why are you dressed like me? Huh?" I put my hands on my hips.**

"**Now, why in the world would I dress like you, Christie? On purpose, anyway. Your clothes are hideous." I open my mouth to say something.**

**Putting his right hand up, he stops me. "Não diga qualquer coisa, a menos que dever concordar." **

"**Que? Se eu vestir assim hideous, por que você está vestido como mim então, Chris?" He's about to respond, when mom interrupts.**

"**There's nothing wrong with the way either of you are dressed. I think you look cute. Now, sit down and eat your food." I look at Chris one more time, and then sit down. **

**He leans forward. And in a whisper, "I grabbed the first thing in my closet. What's your excuse, Christie?" **

**I lean forward. "I wanted something that's comfortable and I like the shirt, Chris."**

"**Hmmm." He shakes his head.**

"**But if you chose what the first thing in your closet, why'd you pick green glasses? I mean, I didn't even know you had green glasses."**

"**They matched the shirt. And I've had these glasses since you've had yours. I have the same colors as you."**

"**You have pink ones, too?" I ask. He's about to reply, when mom interrupts again.**

"**Christiana Lucretia and Christian Lucretius, the only time I want your mouths open, is when you're putting food in them. Understand?" She's shaking her head yes.**

"**Yes." We both say.**

"**Yes, what?" Dad interrupts in a warning tone.**

"**Yes, ma'am." **

**She comes over to us and kisses us both. "Uhh. Don't kiss me. I'm too old for this and guys don't want kisses from their moms." Chris says wiping his cheek and leaning away from her.**

**"You're never too old for kisses from your mom." She kisses us again.**

**"Anyway, Chris, I don't mind getting a kiss from mom. It means she loves me." I hug mom.**

**Leaning away from mom. "No, that's because you're a baby, Christie." **

**"I'm not a baby." I turn to mom. "We're eleven now."**

**"You're definitely not babies anymore." Turning to dad. "Christian, we didn't forget their birthday. Did we?"**

**"Nope. When you get in from school, we have a surprise for you both." He and mom are smiling.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"I was happy and excited, that I couldn't wait till after school." I look at the doc.**

**"It was understandable that you'd be excited, Christie. You were a child." Julia was writing, but she'd never stopped the tape recorder.**

**She finishes writing and looks up at me. "You may continue, Christie."**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"Well, it'll have to wait till after practice." What did he mean?**

**"What do you mean, C J?" Mom asks. She calls him C J, because he and dad have the same name. C J stands for Christian Jr.**

**"Well, I have basketball practice after school, till 4:30." **

**"Then after we pick you up," mom gestures to Chris, "You'll both receive it." **

**"You're getting them together, in case you were wondering. And Regina, I'm off to work." He looks at his watch on his left hand. Dad tells us bye, grabs his keys and out the door he goes. But not before saying Feliz Aniversario! to us. **

**"MF, ya'll are gonna be late if you don't run to catch the bus!" Mom says gesturing with her hands for us to hurry out the door. I grab my backpack and head out the door after Chris.**

**"Feliz Aniversario, bebês! Mom calls after us. **

**Out the door, we stand next to each other at the bus stop.**

**"Christie, ready to deal with Jin?" Chris is smiling.**

**I turn to face him. "You know, I'm not." I look past him down the street to see the bus. "There goes the bus, Chris." **

**We get on the bus. And as soon as we walk in, I notice a girl with neck length chocolate brown hair, peach skin, dark brown eyes and wearing white shorts and a plain dark blue t-shirt. She comes over and sits next to me. "Hey, babe. How you doing?" Asuka Kazama reaches over and hugs me. **

**"I'm good and you?" She settles in next to me. She faces me and shakes her head. **

"**You know I'd be better when Chris doesn't have Steve around." I laugh.**

"**You know I'm serious. You don't like him either." **

**I notice she's looking down the isle. I lean toward her and I see she's looking at my brother. I look next to him and I see a guy with short blonde hair, tanned skin and light blue eyes looking at me. He moves his lips in a kiss motion. I shiver. I don't like Steve. **

**I turn around to Asuka. She shakes her head. Next thing I know, Steve and Chris move to sit in the row next to us. Asuka's seen it too. **

"**How's it going, Suky?" Chris asks her. She laughs when he calls her the nick name I use.**

"**Good Chris. You?" She asks him. **

"**Good." He smiles. She does a little giggle. Suky's always had a little crush on Chris.**

"**Let's fast forward a little. What happened after school, Christie?" She's writing that damn note pad. I want to rip that thing up!**

**She looks up at me and lets me know that she knows what I've been thinking.**

"**I know you'd like to rip this note pad up, Christie," She lifts it up, "but you're going to need my personal opinion to prove that you're fit to quit therapy." **

**I don't say anything to that comment. But I do continue my story.**

"**After school that day, my mom and dad came to pick me and Suky up. I didn't have to ride the bus home, if one of them was home or if one of Suky's parents were home."**

"**Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Monteiro." Turning to me she she says bye and hugs me." I would've never thought that that would be the last time I'd see Suky. I don't even know whatever happened to her.**

**We drove home and since it'd be about an hour and 30 till Chris' practice ended. We watched TV and some ramen noodles. You're always hungry after school. When it was time to pick Chris up, I decided that I'd not go. I wanted to do my hair and pick out some nice clothes, like bell bottom jeans and a nice 70's floral shirt. Yeah, yeah, I know I was kinda a hippie. That's what my mom used to say. **

"**I'm gonna stay. You know, to get ready before Chris gets here. He's gonna be in the bathroom a while, Because of practice." They shake their heads 'ok' and head out the door. Leaving me with the place to myself. Even if only for 10 minutes, the place is quiet. I like.**

**It's been about an hour since they left to get Chris. They should be back by now. I kept thinking. Cell phones didn't exist till 2 years later. So there was no way I could get in touch with them. I had to wait for them to get home. **

**Now, it's been 2 hours and they're still not here. What happened? I'm so worried. Then I see Dad's house key on the kitchen counter. Mom's keychain is on the living room table. There's a knock on the door. I feel so relieved. They didn't have their keys, so of course they'd knock! Now they're gonna have to tell me why it took so long just to pick up Chris from the school.**

**Opening the door, I don't see mom, dad and Chris, but 2 police officers. **

"**Are you Christiana Monteiro?" The male officer asks.**

"**Yeah. Why are you here?" I'm not trying to be rude, but they need to tell me why.**

**I hear the female officer take a breath, and I look to her. She avoids looking at me. Then the male officer asks to come in. I let them.**

**Sitting on the couch, the male officer speaks. "I'm Officer Julien Urban and this," he turns to the female officer, "is my partner Officer Amaryllis Berry." **

"**Why are you here?" I ask again.**

**Officer Urban speaks. "This is a little hard for me to say." He looks up. "Would you mind sitting down?" **

"**Tell me what's wrong." **

**Officer Berry clears her throat. Then speaks. "Your parents and brother were in an accident. A car accident. It was pretty bad…" **

"**Ohhh, no."**

"**But, they're alive." I look at them and I catch the look that they share, and I know she's not telling me the truth.**

"**Did they tell you I was at home waiting for them?"**

**Officer Urban hesitates. "Your mom told us."**

"**What did my brother say?"**

"**That it was you and his birthday. And that he needed to get better, so he could get home."**

"**What'd my dad say?"**

"**Your brother said…" I cut Officer Berry off.**

"**I know what Chris said. I wanna know what dad said."**

"**Your brother…"**

"**I know what Chris said! I wan to know what my dad said!" I look Officer Berry in her eyes.**

**She swallows. "Your dad didn't say anything."**

"**Why?"**

"**He's gone."**

"**Gone where?"**

"**He's dead, Christiana." **

"**Nooo!"**

"**I'm sorry, Christiana." Officer Urban says.**

**Water wells up in my eyes.**

"**He wasn't in any pain. He died instantly." Officer Berry says.**

**Hot tears fall down my cheeks and chin.**

"**Nooo…"**

**I run upstairs to my room. Everything just seems to be much better when I'm in my room. My head is down, but when I look up, I see my big mirror. On that mirror are pictures of Chris, dad and mom. There's a picture of mom and me. Matching orange sundresses and brown sandals, with our matching reddish brown hair in two low ponytails. Our hazel eyes smiling more than our mouths. I remember when that picture was taken. I was 9 years old and it was big little day at my school. We had someone dress like us and they were to be the older version of us. My mom came for me, dad came for Chris. I know it sounds stupid that the school made up a day like that, but I had so much fun. The next picture that caught my eye, was the kindergarten graduation picture of me and Chris. We standing next to each other, me with the yellow cap and gown with two plaits and Chris in the blue cap and gown with one plait. We had those smiles that little kids make, where they show all their teeth. And one picture that hurt me the most. The picture that was taken of dad holding me in the hospital room, the day we were born. Mom was holding Chris directly next to dad. His light brown eyes mere slits with how big he was smiling. A sanitary had covering his chestnut hair. His chocolate brown hands holding me while I was asleep. I'll never get to see him smile again. Why did Deus take him away from me? **

**"We're going to take you to the hospital to be with your family. They're going to need you more than anything now." I turn my head to Officer Urban. Then to Officer Berry. She shakes her head. **

**I turn back around. I don't need to ask what he meant by the comment of them needing me, because I knew. My mom and brother are just like me. They lost Christian Monteiro. Husband and Father.**

**Turning back around, I head out my room and they follow. Out the door the place that'll bring memories that'll make me cry, to the place where you're supposed to get better.**

---Well that was long, huh? I hope you liked wink -Chapter 3 'I'm Sorry'- is next. And, here are the translations to the underlined Portuguese words in the story.---

**Translating Portuguese into English**

Feliz Aniversario!--------**- _Happy Birthday!_**

Feliz Aniversario, bebês! ---------- **_Happy Birthday, babies!_**

Não diga qualquer coisa, a menos que dever concordar.** ---------- _Don't say anything, unless it's to agree._**

Que? Se eu vestir assim hideous, por que você está vestido como mim então, Chris?---------- **_What? If I dress so hideous, why are you dressed like me then, Chris?_**

God--------- **_Deus_**

Peace,

n_**ichole hahn**_


	3. I'm Sorry

A/N- I own these _Monteiro's_ only: _Christian Sr_., _Regina _and _Christian Jr_. I own Amaryllis Berry and Julien Urban. All other characters are property of Namco.

_Note: I write this story when I'm feeling sad, and I am. So here's chapter 3. Enjoy._

Thanks to** _Aki Ronin_ and _Babygurl154_**

**Scars**

**Ch. 3- I'm Sorry **

We rode in the police car in complete silence. Not a word was said. All that could be heard was the engine and the 'swish, swish' of other cars driving by. I couldn't help but think 'how can these people drive, laughing and smiling while my life is so messed up?' On our way to Mirari General, we pass the place where the accident occurred. By the gasps and 'MF hells' from the officers, I can tell they didn't know where the accident happened or they wouldn't have brought me through this way. I don't bother to look at them. I'm very surprised that there isn't any blood or anything like that since it was a bad accident. It must've been cleaned up.

We pull up to the hospital. My heart beats so fast, and my throat burns like acid's being poured down it. I didn't notice the officers weren't in the car. They were standing next to my door. Officer Urban pulls the door and I pause; not knowing if I want to get out or not. I was confused. If I get out and go in, then everything is real. Everything that's happened is real. But I take one look at Officer Berry and I know what I have to do. I was scared of what I would find. No, more scared of what I was gonna tell my mom and Chris. They're already sick and need to get well. I don't want to have them sad and not able to get well. So I make the decision not to tell them about dad. I was so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed we'd passed the receptionist desk and were headed to the elevator. On our way to the 7th floor, where the sudden accident patients are placed. At least to my 11 year old mind it was. We've been in silence since the ride here. We reach really big gray doors with big bold red capital letters the words Intensive Care Unit. Underneath abbreviated ICU. We walk inside, the officers and I, to the Nurses station. I'm shorter than the tall sideways 'U' desk, so the nurses don't see me. I hear Officer Berry talking but I can't make out what she's saying. Nor does it seem important. After a few minutes we move, but one of the nurses stops us. Her shoulder length black hair swinging as she comes to stand in front of us and tell Officers Berry and Urban that she can't allow me to go in to see my family because I'm not 14. Officer Urban tells her that this is an emergency, that I have no family in this state. That I need to see for myself that my family is fine. All the while I watch her hands, squeezing each other. When Officer Urban is done, The nurse turns to me. Her dark brown eyes so readable. She touches my shoulder, then hugs me. And speaks to me; her voice shaking. She pulls away and I see no tears. It must be the clinical detachment that others must see in my mom at work. I don't remember what the nurse said, but the look in her eyes told me everything. She didn't just feels sorry; she understood. She steps out of the way and we head to Rm 3341. The door is closed and I stand just in front. I turn the handle slightly before I notice that the Officers aren't coming with me. They tell me that they're going to the waiting room, that my family and I needed alone time. I nod and walk inside. My mom is laying on the bed, flat on her back covered in white sheets. She doesn't notice me; she's looking at the ceiling. I go to stand just where she'd see me to not scare her. She looks down and I see her face visibly relax. I know my mom so well. She was worried about me too, when she should've only worried about Chris and dad. She motions for me to come closer. It's at the moment that I notice her chocolate brown baby face is bruised under her right eye and jaw and under her chin. Her left eye is black and swollen. She has mini white bandages covering her forehead and chin. I can see her nose was bleeding once, it's swollen now. She doesn't even look like she's in any pain. Her hair is a fuzzy mess, but she looks like an Angel. I have to swallow to keep the tears from coming. She seems to sense this and holds her arms wide apart for me to come inside. I do, even though I know she's hurt. She's my mom. She can always make things better.

* * *

I pause with my story and I notice that Julia is grabbing tissues from a yellow Kleenex box. She hands them to me. I wipe my nose; it's running slightly. I look up and see she's wiping hers too. After a few minutes of getting myself together, I start back with my story.

* * *

"Did you see your brother?" She talks with her face in my hair. It's muffled, but I hear every word. I tell her no speaking with my face to her neck. She smells so good. My mom always wore 'Ciera' Perfume. It's.. It was her favorite. Even though she's in the hospital from an accident, she doesn't cease to spell good.

"Christie.." She sorta stands me up. "Have you seen your dad?"

"Yeah, he's okay." Those words shocked me. How could I just lie to my mom? She looks into my eyes. Then her face starts to scrunch up. I know this look. She's always told Chris and me that she could always tell when we were lying.

"Why'd you just lie to me, Christie?" Her look is so intense that I can't look away. "You know how I feel when you lie." I'm stuck. Between shock of how I lied and how she can lecture me at a time like this.

I break down and tell her. "I didn't mean to lie, mama."

She nods her head. "If you haven't seen your dad, you didn't have to lie. Just say so."

I nod and she looks at me hard. "Why haven't you seen your dad?"

"I just got here. You're the first one I saw." This is the truth.

"Go ask the nurse if your dad's okay. It's important that we know. Okay, Christie?" I didn't know what to say. But my tears fell without my knowing, telling the truth that I couldn't speak in words.

But then I say two words. The only words that I could form. "I'm sorry." I cry so hard that my body shakes. And I see my mom cry. I was young, but I always knew I never wanted to see my mom cry. She cried long and hard, the cries for her other half. In between I hear her saying how much she loved my dad. I found myself comforting her. Holding her close and rocking her like a baby; speaking in soft tones.

It seems like forever when my mom tells me I need to go see my brother. Because she couldn't and she knew he was worried. I nod and she kisses me.

"I love you, Christie. You're my baby." She holds her hands to the sides of my face. "I need you to continue being the big girl that you've been through this, for just a little while longer. Till I get better."

I nod. "I will, mama. I'll make sure Chris knows everything is okay."

I kiss her on the cheek and head out the door. I turn back around and she's nodding with a smile for me to go on.

I turn left to the receptionists desk and the same nurse is there, she hands me a paper and I read it. Rm 4011 is Chris' room. I follow the blue arrows to the waiting room. Officers Urban and Berry stand immediately upon noticing me. I hand her the paper and follow them on the elevator to the 9th floor. Children's ICU. It looks exactly like the adults, just smaller. It's scary to know that kids need ICU's.

We don't even have to go to the receptionists desk, the nurses tell us to go to his room. Once again when I'm at the door, Berry and Urban go to the waiting room. I open the door and find Chris looking right at me. It seems like forever from the time I looked at him early that morning. I can't help myself, I cry. His face scrunches up like moms and I cry even more. That stupid argument. Stupid. That's all I can think. His eyes are both black, but his left eye is swollen shut. He has a big white bandage over his nose and one on his forehead. He winces when he sits up. He starts to get worried.

"Christie, what's wrong?" I can barely hear him. His mouth is bruised purple. I run to him squeazing him. He makes a noise letting me know it hurts.

"I love you, Chris. That argument we had earlier? I won't ever argue with you again. I promise." I looks at me with a look that I think is shock.

"Christie, I'm okay. I was just worried about everybody." I nod relieved. He's okay. "How's mom?"

"I just left from with her. She's fine. She's actually worried about you." He shakes his head.

"That's mom. How's dad?" I knew that he was gonna ask about dad.

Chris looks at me. He's about to ask me again when talk. "Chris, I haven't seen dad." Tears start to well up. "Dad's not okay.

Chris shakes his head. "No."

"He was hurt bad..."

His hand is shaking on his sheet. "No, Christie. No!"

This is so familiar. Just earlier I did the same thing. "Dad didn't make it, Chris." He starts crying.

I go to him, holding him. "Dad!" He calls him as though he would come through the door. I wanted the same thing.

* * *

"What happened next, Christie?" Julia asks looking at me instead of writing in the notepad.

"I told him that me, mama and him were going to have to take care of each other. Eventually he was calm again." I hadn't noticed that I was looking at the floor instead of Julia while I was talking.

"He said he wanted me to go to mama and tell her he was fine. That everything was gonna be okay." My lip shakes, me still looking at the floor.

"What happened, Christie? I need to know." She stays looking at me because I can feel it.

"I went to the waiting room. Berry and Urban came with me to mama's room." She nods for me to keep going. "I walked in... I told mama what Chris had said. She smiled, but then something happened. I don't know what. She started shaking. I screamed for help and they ened up pushing me out the door. I peeked throgh the window and saw them tear her gown, putting those electric paddles to make her heart beat again. They were frantic, hollering orders around. But after a while, they quit moving so fast. They put the instruments up and were heading to the door. The brown haired doctor was trying to tell me what happened. All I could see was her brown eyes. I didn't need her to tell me nothing. I knew my mama was...gone. I ran past Urban and Berry to the elevator. I had to get to Chris. I had to be with him. It was just us two now. But when I made it to the receptionists desk, one of the nurses grabbed me trying to tell me something. I broke free, running down the hall to Chris' room. He was laying very still. I came to his side and told him that mama knew he was fine. Then I told him that everything would be okay."

I finally caught my breath. I looked at Julia. "He nodded his head. Said he loved me and started to close his eyes. I told him I was sorry and I told him to stay awake. I even yelled. I shook him and his eyes opened again. He told me that while I was gone he'd gotten sleepy. And that now he was seeing mama. She was telling him that she didn't want it to be his time, but that it was. He had to go."

I turned to look at Julia. "He described how she looked so well, that I knew he had to really be seeing her. He told me that she wanted him to tell me that I was... I was never alone. And to remember that I had a mom, dad and brother who loved me dearly. He was looking past me strangely, then he smiled. He started talking to dad. Then he closed his eyes and didn't move anymore. I told him that I needed him. He couldn't go."

I looked back at the floor. "I ran from the room down the hall and fell. I hollered 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!... I'm sorry that I didn't go with ya'll! I'm sorry I didn't die too.' I don't remember what happened after that. I know that I left with the Officers and stayed with Officer Berry that night."

She writes this down. "You know what, Christie? You're a lot stronger than you're given credit." She continues writing in the notepad. Everything's quiet for a minute. Then I think of something I hadn't thought of before.

"You know what, doc?" I look at Julia. She finishes writing then lifts her head to me.

"No, I don't Christie." She puts her red pen down.

"If I'd have been 20 then, I'd have known she wasn't going to get better. That she wasn't coming home."

Julia looks slightly shocked. "Why is that?"

"Because she told me to be a big girl, nodding and smiling for me to take care of my brother. You don't do stuff like that unless it's final. You're making sure things are in order before you go." I didn't notice that I was breathing hard.

Julia looks at me closely. "Are you angry, Christie? Angry that your mom left you? That she knew she was dying and didn't tell you?"

I'm quiet. I don't know what to say. She hit them all on the dot. "Yeah, I'm pissed! She knew, she knew and she didn't tell me!"

I hadn't noticed that I was crying, I just felt the tears. I was standing now, standing over Julia. She didn't even move to stand or tell me to sit down. She just let me cry and have my fit.

I finally sat down. Julia was looking at me after looking at her watch. "Feel better now, Christie?" I nod, I really do feel better. "We're going to have to continue the day after tomorrow... Which is Thursday."

She writes on the notebook and tears the paper for me. "Wait, doc, don't you mean 'finish' this Thursday?"

She looks at me. Then smiles shaking her head. "Christie, hon, this is far from finished. This is just a little tear in the surface."

* * *

**-----I hope you liked... I don't really have anything else to say. I'll tell you the title of Chapter 4. It's entitled 'What Am I Gonna Do?' Be on the look out for it. But if I'm still in this sad mood, in a week Chapter 4 will be up. I for real hope I'm not still sad, though.-----**

**_Jia-Li Hahn_** (Nichole)


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